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Portrait of a Gay Blogger

Until last weekend, I had always held the belief that it would be impossible for a photograph to ever truly capture the essence of who I am. Such a picture would require all kinds of random elements...

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At Least My Self-Replica Bobble Head Can’t Get Fat

So I have some random, amazing news: I am now the proud owner of a self-replica bobble head. And — since it is a physical object made of plastic, with no emotional eating issues whatsoever — it can...

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The Dildos Are (Not) Coming!

So this one time at a holiday party in New York City, I had a melodramatic breakdown in front the entire room. We were playing this weird anonymous gift-exchanging game, and when it was my turn, I...

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New Name, No Shame

I’ve been meaning to keychange the name of this site for a while, but I could never really think of anything I loved enough to commit to that also wasn’t egregiously corny. And so here’s a conversation...

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How to Make ANYTHING Healthy (Yes, this Post Contains All the Secrets)

(Alternate Title: True Life: I Use Healthy Substitutions to Rationalize My Binge Eating – Part Two) Every Friday at my company is “Wing Day!” It’s kind of like Casual Friday, except instead of wearing...

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The Only Thing Worse Than This Blog is the List of Google Search Terms That...

If you’ve followed enough blogs in your day, you’re likely familiar with the common “here’s a list of random Google search terms that have led readers to my site” post. Depending on my mood (and level...

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“Clown-Related Crimes Soar in Parts of England” is a Real-Life Headline, but...

Yesterday there was an actual article on New York Daily News with a headline of “Clown-Related Crimes Soar in Parts of England” and I was naturally like “WTF?” and then clicked it and learned that this...

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Yay! You Just Found This Blog by Googling Something Really Fucked Up

This isn’t an actual post. I just found myself sitting around the other day thinking, “Huh. If some weirdo once accidentally found my blog by searching for ‘how I became a mermaid sex toy,’ I wonder...

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Am I the Only Person Who Gets Randomly Accosted by Crazy-Pants McGhees at...

One thing I really like to do with my life is watch Super Soul Sunday on the OWN Network every weekend and then immediately haul ass to the New Age section of my local Barnes and Noble in order to...

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Like the Tour of Italy at Olive Garden, Except Less Caloric and More Write-y...

The title of today’s post is mostly obnoxious and misleading, as it has nothing to do with Olive Garden’s delightful (OMG my big Italian family will have me off-ed if they ever find out that I just...

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Sometimes Life (and/or Oprah) Gives You Exactly What You Need When You Need It

Like many writers – cough, Cheryl Strayed, ‘achoo! – I enjoy taking long, meditative walks. I used to walk all over my hometown as a kid, so walking all over my current town kind of reconnects me with...

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My Day as a Psycho Celebrity-Spammer on Twitter

Given the ugliness that has unfolded surrounding Justin Bieber since last Wednesday’s piece went live, I think we should all just agree to pretend that that post never happened. Because had I known...

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Kind of a Blog Post About Dating, Mostly a Video of Me Singing a Dixie Chicks...

Recently some readers have been inquiring about my dating life, which, contrary to the fact that I haven’t really blogged about it in nearly nine months, has not disintegrated entirely into a...

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Not All Thinking is Relevant: Why I’m Done with Thought Catalog

I’ve only been close with one transgender person in my life so far, and she happened to be somewhat famous. Her name was Octavia St. Laurent, known by many from the iconic film Paris Is Burning....

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New Name, No Shame

I’ve been meaning to keychange the name of this site for a while, but I could never really think of anything I loved enough to commit to that also wasn’t egregiously corny. And so here’s a conversation...

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